The other night I was on the hunt for pictures of my grandmother because of the milestones that were approaching; 6 years of her being gone and what would have been her 84th birthday, so with the Ides of March upon us, I write my random ramblings for a woman that I continue to admire.
My grandmother was an amazing woman that I was fortunate enough to have in my life. She was vibrant, full of life, and someone who could inspire us all; here I share some bits of her.
She never learned to drive (my dad tells an awful story of trying to teach her but she wanted to window shop while in the driver's seat), but she didn't let that stop her - She rode the bus with the best of them and went to work each and every day, walked me to school, and made sure her hair appointments were never missed. As a matter of fact on the day that she passed away, she was headed there. She swore she was five foot two and a half - on a good day without her hair done five foot one was the best she could do. This became a running joke. She only cared about who you were on the inside - your soul mattered most. When we all came home tattooed (including my brother's very naked female one) she never batted an eye. When I dyed my hair a million different colors, she just smiled and shook her head. Money didn't talk because it doesn't make you a better person and she wasn't swayed by that notion. She was Catholic but didn't murder her Atheist son - 'nuff said. She was a morning person who loved to talk; a gift I happily carry on once you know me. She would go out of her way if she could help someone. She was the picture of sheer determination; with a laundry list of health problems which eventually led to the loss of her leg to the upper thigh, she never quit. Wheelchair bound (because she hated the prosthetic) she relearned to cook dinner, dress, hang out with us, clean, and even take it in stride when we joked around generally at her expense due to the missing limb or when my mom threw her out of her wheelchair... okay, the last one wasn't intentional, but it's a great way to torment my mom for many, many, many more years to come!
People say that I am like her, and I can only hope that is a little but true, because if there is someone in this life to be like, it's definitely her. All through college, when I would call her every morning between 4 and 6 am and every night between 10 and midnight, she assured me that she would live to see me graduate college, and I assured her that she would be around to meet her great grandchildren (thank you to my older sister for giving her that pleasure). With many conversations came the question of what I wanted when she passed away, and I told her every single time the same crystal bowl - It wasn't special, I just wanted her to stop asking me! Just under 10 months after my college graduation, she passed away. I would spend a week helping my parents and grandfather with arrangements and come home with that damn crystal bowl.
I think of her often and still talk to her all the time (fortunately she hasn't replied). I wonder, if I ever have those great grandchildren, how to honor the memory of those who have passed (Nick's mom is included here), and how to make sure I impress upon them as she impressed upon me.
I know that I will continue to strive to be more like her and think that the world would be a lot better of a place with a little more of my grandmother (and many others, I am sure) and a lot less of the horrible influences we have at present. So, here's to being a little bit more like the older generations and a lot less Generation Gimme, Gimme, Gimme
Friday, March 14, 2014
Sunday, March 9, 2014
Do you know the actual meaning of Inundate?!?!
I have decided that as a closer to 32 year old female, I now truly understand the actual definition of inundate...
For the majority of my life I, as most females, have been overrun with images of what a female is "supposed" to be; pretty, thin, hair done, make up "did", manicured hands with pedicured toes, a lady in the streets but a freak in the bed...
Then there came the societal pressures of expectations; be a good (but not too good) girl, go to college, get a good job, find a good guy, date, get married, buy the perfect white picket fence house, and be the perfect house wife while holding down a full time job - no object out of place in your home that is supposed to look like a model and dinner on the table every night.
Yet, most recently, is the constant barrage of babies/families - you know, those little stick people that are supposed to take up the rear window of your minivan. Facebook is flooded with images ranging from newborns to almost teens, birthday parties, family nights in, family days out, soon to be grandparents, and even grandbabies! Not to mention random boxes of baby formula that show up unexpectedly at your door, the adorable children in the shopping cart next to you, women's magazines gearing pages and pages to how to cope with your teens technology use or how to be the "more perfect" mom, Gerber mailing you about their grow up fund, the over arching, out of place, can't really hang out with or be invited to things because of the lack of children, adorable aisles and aisle of clothes, toys, and shoes, and lets not forget the brain to heart to biological clock battle that wages war on a regular basis. Did I forget to mention people who look at you oddly (ranging from young children to great grandparents) when you respond "No" to the question, "Do you have kids?" and then they really aren't sure how to proceed so it can look like anything from "how's the weather" to "but why, you ARE a teacher?"
This, my dear readers, is the true definition of inundation, and if you are not a childless 30 something female, you may not understand; this is not a war on any one thing in particular but just the constant bombardment that is only a bombardment because we, as a society, have allowed it to be. I love the pictures that my friends and family share, and I love being able to partake in all of these moments, but know that for many of us who are in this position, it may not be a simple answer, choice, or even something that we want to talk about. Sometimes if we seem a little "zoned out" as those around us go on about their families, know we may not be being "stuck up" or a bitch, it may be that there is a lot more to our story that you don't see or maybe we really don't like kids, but isn't that our life choice to make?
Society, please stop assuming that because women are in their thirties that we need baby formula reminders that we haven't yet had kids, and we do not live in a fish bowl so please stop looking at us like we have lost our minds when the kids question answer is "No" - You have not had to walk in our shoes, you do not know our stories, and just because it seems weird, it isn't.
On that note, I would still like to partake in all the awesome babiness/familiness that my friends and families allow; just please stop sending me baby formula and Gerber Grow Up Plans!
Sincerely,
Overly Inundated and Completely Over It
For the majority of my life I, as most females, have been overrun with images of what a female is "supposed" to be; pretty, thin, hair done, make up "did", manicured hands with pedicured toes, a lady in the streets but a freak in the bed...
Then there came the societal pressures of expectations; be a good (but not too good) girl, go to college, get a good job, find a good guy, date, get married, buy the perfect white picket fence house, and be the perfect house wife while holding down a full time job - no object out of place in your home that is supposed to look like a model and dinner on the table every night.
Yet, most recently, is the constant barrage of babies/families - you know, those little stick people that are supposed to take up the rear window of your minivan. Facebook is flooded with images ranging from newborns to almost teens, birthday parties, family nights in, family days out, soon to be grandparents, and even grandbabies! Not to mention random boxes of baby formula that show up unexpectedly at your door, the adorable children in the shopping cart next to you, women's magazines gearing pages and pages to how to cope with your teens technology use or how to be the "more perfect" mom, Gerber mailing you about their grow up fund, the over arching, out of place, can't really hang out with or be invited to things because of the lack of children, adorable aisles and aisle of clothes, toys, and shoes, and lets not forget the brain to heart to biological clock battle that wages war on a regular basis. Did I forget to mention people who look at you oddly (ranging from young children to great grandparents) when you respond "No" to the question, "Do you have kids?" and then they really aren't sure how to proceed so it can look like anything from "how's the weather" to "but why, you ARE a teacher?"
This, my dear readers, is the true definition of inundation, and if you are not a childless 30 something female, you may not understand; this is not a war on any one thing in particular but just the constant bombardment that is only a bombardment because we, as a society, have allowed it to be. I love the pictures that my friends and family share, and I love being able to partake in all of these moments, but know that for many of us who are in this position, it may not be a simple answer, choice, or even something that we want to talk about. Sometimes if we seem a little "zoned out" as those around us go on about their families, know we may not be being "stuck up" or a bitch, it may be that there is a lot more to our story that you don't see or maybe we really don't like kids, but isn't that our life choice to make?
Society, please stop assuming that because women are in their thirties that we need baby formula reminders that we haven't yet had kids, and we do not live in a fish bowl so please stop looking at us like we have lost our minds when the kids question answer is "No" - You have not had to walk in our shoes, you do not know our stories, and just because it seems weird, it isn't.
On that note, I would still like to partake in all the awesome babiness/familiness that my friends and families allow; just please stop sending me baby formula and Gerber Grow Up Plans!
Sincerely,
Overly Inundated and Completely Over It
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