A bit of self loathing sponsored by the awful media monger of beauty equaling self worth

Upon beginning to write this I used Google for an exact definition of limbo: an uncertain period of awaiting a decision or resolution; an intermediate state or condition. 

I was not disappointed because it is what the overall theme was, but then I realized I was disappointed because they did not mention the most important limbo which tests your flexibility and perhaps state of drunkenness as an adult! In this moment, it was reaffirmed that I am generally a glass half full type of girl. 

However, right now, I feel like I am in a perpetual state of limbo (the type without the catchy music) with an emphasis on the present and not the future which for some reason unbeknownst to me is bothering me more that usual. 

Is this what women in their 30's do, is this what "the clock" feels like? I feel like I need a definitive plan for everything; from short term vacations to my body to how I feel about myself to distant thoughts of "carved in stone" baby plans (or lack thereof) to long term goals to aging parents to.... You get the point. I feel like my mind is racing at a pace that I cannot possibly keep up with. I really don't think men "get it" in regards to how many things are floating around in a women's head at once, which I do not fault them for since I will willingly admit that women are just as guilty for not understanding how all men's brains work. 

At this point, my thoughts are a balmy day in February with the Daytona 500 taking place in my head and the leader keeps changing, "From the back of the pack comes aging parents, but wait the third poll position siblings has taken the lead. Following closely behind is a bit of self loathing sponsored by the awful media monger of beauty equaling self worth. Oh, hell, Charlie did you see that shift from the inside of turn 2, babies now holds on to the lead, but it better be careful because right on that tail is long term plans with the ever present to do list constantly looking to overtake on the outside." It is truly maddening and almost impossible to keep up with; this has to be the reason that women talk more, drink more wine, and are more exhausted then men. 

I am doing my very best to keep up with them all, but it's getting very difficult to deal with; I really need to find a place to fit some yoga in. I also think it is time to reconfigure some ways to balance since many of these things in my head seem to be ever present. So, if you have great suggestions for how you balance your life, please feel free to share because I want to make sure I am always a more often than not glass half full kinda girl. 

The road to hell is paved with good intentions.

2014 is here and as with every year that came before and with every year that will come after people are working are to fulfill their resolutions by starting strong; and to those people, I wish you the very best and remind you that it takes 21 repetitions before something becomes habit.
I have decided that resolutions are pointless because if I am being honest they are meaningless words on a page backed by the best intentions, and we all know what is said about the best intentions. In this year, I am going to strive to continually improve myself in the ways that I need.
So, here is my list that I do not have timelines on and know that there will be setbacks, switchbacks, and curve balls that I will have to allot for: show my husband that I love him, take more risks, tackle this infertility nightmare, prepare for traveling this year, spend quality time with family and friends, depend less on technology, give back more, enjoy myself, and take more time for myself.
No matter how you are beginning your new year remember that you new year isn't about societal pressures and norms, it is about you. Do what makes sense for you! If you know realistically losing 60 pounds for spring break is unreasonable, don't make that your goal. If you know that you can't workout the recommended 30 minutes daily because you struggle with an "internal" disease, don't make that your goal. If you know that being single is working for you, don't make finding a "mate" priority.
I wish you all a 2014 that makes sense for you and brings you the things you need, and whether you are on a resolution track or an improvement track, I wish you the very best.