Profoundly Disconnected

Wow. I just finished the majority of the book Profoundly Disconnected by Mike Rowe. If you can't handle statements that might not match your own, stop reading now. Otherwise, these are my uncensored thoughts on what I just read.
As a teacher I value education in each and every form, however I agree that we are doing a disservice to so many by focusing only on a college preparation path. Good jobs are not dictated by a piece of paper (that will rarely be acknowleged) that comes with tens to hundreds of thousands in debt; they are dictated by the ability to work hard, pay your bills, and know that your job isn't always on the line because of the advent of a new idea.
Why is it that vocational preparation is consistently pulled from school? I honestly have no answer and have disagreed with that decision from the very beginning. I think that every job should be respected especially for all of us who like to buy our food, drive our cars, have electricity 24/7, and not worry about how each of the items function. We should be encouraging our next generations to look at all of the options, but regrettably information on these "non traditional" paths are hard to find. How can we get into schools and move back towards a more diversified field of options considering the number of jobs that remain unfilled in skilled labor positions? How do we help support that college is not the only choice? How do we help our next generations reorient themselves into a working class?
There is absolutely nothing wrong with working hard, but somewhere we have forgotten that is an option.
I have no idea what the whole answers to these questions are, but I will say Mike Rowe and his team at mikeroweWorks is on the right track.
I fully support the team over at profoundlydisconnected.com

Sometimes love looks a lot like trouble

Another school year is done and what a year it has been! Every year my students teach me so much, and the end of the school year brings a flood of things to me.

First, it reminds me that I am inching towards that decade teaching line while immediately recalling that very first classroom of my own that I stepped into; I can remember the kids, the nerves, and the amazing end. Though more than a little cliché, every student truly does touch you as a teacher and helps to form you as a teacher.  As I watched many of our students officially walk out the door for the last time, I was reminded what each one taught me and here are the highlights; just because it worked one year doesn’t mean that it will this year, all kids can reach to bar even if it seems “too high”, sometimes love looks a lot like trouble, balance is precious in all aspects of life, keep evolving, extended patience, it is never too late, do something unexpected and a bit childish, never forget your flexibility, and never stop trying.

Next, it reminds me of all of the teachers that have helped shape me; from the kindergarten teacher who said I needed improvement my first quarter in school to my elementary teachers that wanted me to skip grades along the way to my middle school teachers who are honestly kind of a blur (ironic considering that I teach middle school) to my high school teachers who allowed me to blossom to my college professors who helped me set foot in my classroom and to all of the amazing teachers, and many whom I now call friend, that have helped shape my career, and my soul, along the way. I would not be where I am today without so many of those wonderful teachers but the ones who became my coworkers and friends are the backbone of so much that I do, and I will take a few moments to honor them now. From my very first wonderful mentor who was classy and sassy and helped me get a foot in the door at an absolutely amazing place (where I would be blessed with more than I can ever explain), to the woman who scared the ever loving hell out of me but would go on to not only teach me about life, humility, leadership, positive energy, teaching, students, and family but who would also become someone who holds a special place in my soul to a perfect match who went on a crazy journey with me for over a year to try and continue filling so many gaps for our kiddos and would introduce me to the wonderful world of white wine to a team that was joyful, flexible, a little OCD, charismatic, compassionate, and absolutely amazing and taught me the pleasures of co-teaching to a move that brought me a very different perspective and had me questioning staying in the profession to my most present team where my stay was to be only a year but my welcome was (mostly…hehe) extended, and I am excitedly moving into year three even if I will have 4 preps! My present team is a wonderfully eclectic mix where I have one and a half feet in special education and the other foot in general education. This staff has helped to alter my perspective for a very new task and challenge and has supported me along the way; from a principal and assistant principal are comfortable like your favorite pair of jeans – you can always count on them, they will support and listen to you, but they may challenge you just a little to button that button to a woman’s whose job I place held (and who I am forever grateful for helping me enter such a wonderful opportunity even if it was unintentional) and makes it all seem a bit too easy in the many roles that she takes on to a mentor who was supportive, listened to the craziness, and helped get me through a crazy transitional year all with serious grace and humor and who I miss seeing on a regular basis to an intervention team who couldn’t be more unique and more influential on me as a teacher and a person as they are free natured, loving, compassionate, tenured, emotional, and persistent in the pursuit of doing all things right for all kids to a building of phenomenal teachers and support staff that are in the midst of changes and challenges upbeat, willing to take whatever course gets students to press beyond those imaginary boundaries, fun loving, and determined. As a teacher I couldn't have asked for a better second home that I didn't realize I was seeking and, if you believe in that sort of thing, fate made sure that I made that crazy one year only interview drive “so far” outside of the city so that I could find so many pieces that my soul apparently needed at the time and continues to thrive off of on a regular basis.  

Lastly, (and really because this is becoming a novella) it reminds me of the work I have ahead of me. Most importantly, how can I change/improve/adapt to make me even better in this coming year! If you are not constantly evolving as a teacher and consider yourself in the “exceeds expectations” category in everything you do, then you are doing it wrong. It is only with constant changes/improvements/ adaptations that you can continue to be an amazing teacher with a grasp on reality that we can’t to the same thing year-to-year and expect our kiddos to flourish with us. Next, it reminds me of all the planning that I want to get done this summer to be not only prepared but to be sure that I am consistently improving as many aspects of my lessons at a time. Finally, it makes me think of the end of the next school year with the students that I will have had for almost three years (and two in many other cases), will I have done enough and how can I make sure that the answer is yes?

Just wow...

This may be offense to some of you, so I apologize in advance....
This weekend alone I have witnessed just how far we have come from appropriate behavior from both adults (I am using that term loosely) and children alike in regards to social media and here I will voice my own opinions on the topic.

• If you are an adult, stay the hell off of your children's Facebook page and in no way feed the trolls. Why do you feel the need to argue with children?!?! If you believe that these "friends" are a bad influence on your child, then perhaps you should take your parenting off line - just a suggestion.
• If you are a child and no one is monitoring your page directly, think "would I send this to my grandmother with the enclosed captions?!!?" If the answer is no, then why post it for the world to see?
• If you are a child, speak to adults as adults and not equals. I promise that if any child uses the term "butt hurt" towards me in any way, shape, or form I cannot be held responsible for my actions.
• If you are an adult, please remember that we made it through the boyfriends/girlfriends without the bickering amongst one another, please keep it off of Facebook. You are no longer in high school, do not live vicariously through your children and once again if you see a problem take your parenting off line.

In conclusion, I am a little "over" social media parenting right now and very, very, very concerned for the status of actual parenting. How have we come to such a point where children believe there are no boundaries when it comes to adults and speaking to them in any fashion is acceptable? How have adults allowed this to become the norm?!? I think it is truly time we start heeding the advice of others about the impact of social media on many aspects of our lives and make this the focus moving forward. If we are to continue along this path as a whole, the end results will be disastrous.  

A lot less Generation Gimme, Gimme, Gimme

The other night I was on the hunt for pictures of my grandmother because of the milestones that were approaching; 6 years of her being gone and what would have been her 84th birthday, so with the Ides of March upon us, I write my random ramblings for a woman that I continue to admire.
My grandmother was an amazing woman that I was fortunate enough to have in my life. She was vibrant, full of life, and someone who could inspire us all; here I share some bits of her.
She never learned to drive (my dad tells an awful story of trying to teach her but she wanted to window shop while in the driver's seat), but she didn't let that stop her - She rode the bus with the best of them and went to work each and every day, walked me to school, and made sure her hair appointments were never missed. As a matter of fact on the day that she passed away, she was headed there. She swore she was five foot two and a half - on a good day without her hair done five foot one was the best she could do. This became a running joke. She only cared about who you were on the inside - your soul mattered most. When we all came home tattooed (including my brother's very naked female one) she never batted an eye. When I dyed my hair a million different colors, she just smiled and shook her head. Money didn't talk because it doesn't make you a better person and she wasn't swayed by that notion. She was Catholic but didn't murder her Atheist son - 'nuff said. She was a morning person who loved to talk; a gift I happily carry on once you know me. She would go out of her way if she could help someone. She was the picture of sheer determination; with a laundry list of health problems which eventually led to the loss of her leg to the upper thigh, she never quit. Wheelchair bound (because she hated the prosthetic) she relearned to cook dinner, dress, hang out with us, clean, and even take it in stride when we joked around generally at her expense due to the missing limb or when my mom threw her out of her wheelchair... okay, the last one wasn't intentional, but it's a great way to torment my mom for many, many, many more years to come!
People say that I am like her, and I can only hope that is a little but true, because if there is someone in this life to be like, it's definitely her. All through college, when I would call her every morning between 4 and 6 am and every night between 10 and midnight, she assured me that she would live to see me graduate college, and I assured her that she would be around to meet her great grandchildren (thank you to my older sister for giving her that pleasure). With many conversations came the question of what I wanted when she passed away, and I told her every single time the same crystal bowl - It wasn't special, I just wanted her to stop asking me! Just under 10 months after my college graduation, she passed away. I would spend a week helping my parents and grandfather with arrangements and come home with that damn crystal bowl.
I think of her often and still talk to her all the time (fortunately she hasn't replied). I wonder, if I ever have those great grandchildren, how to honor the memory of those who have passed (Nick's mom is included here), and how to make sure I impress upon them as she impressed upon me.
I know that I will continue to strive to be more like her and think that the world would be a lot better of a place with a little more of my grandmother (and many others, I am sure) and a lot less of the horrible influences we have at present. So, here's to being a little bit more like the older generations and a lot less Generation Gimme, Gimme, Gimme

Do you know the actual meaning of Inundate?!?!

I have decided that as a closer to 32 year old female, I now truly understand the actual definition of inundate...
For the majority of my life I, as most females, have been overrun with images of what a female is "supposed" to be; pretty, thin, hair done, make up "did", manicured hands with pedicured toes, a lady in the streets but a freak in the bed...
Then there came the societal pressures of expectations; be a good (but not too good) girl, go to college, get a good job, find a good guy, date, get married, buy the perfect white picket fence house, and be the perfect house wife while holding down a full time job - no object out of place in your home that is supposed to look like a model and dinner on the table every night.
Yet, most recently, is the constant barrage of  babies/families - you know, those little stick people that are supposed to take up the rear window of your minivan. Facebook is flooded with images ranging from newborns to almost teens, birthday parties, family nights in, family days out, soon to be grandparents, and even grandbabies! Not to mention random boxes of baby formula that show up unexpectedly at your door, the adorable children in the shopping cart next to you, women's magazines gearing pages and pages to how to cope with your teens technology use or how to be the "more perfect" mom, Gerber mailing you about their grow up fund, the over arching, out of place, can't really hang out with or be invited to things because of the lack of children, adorable aisles and aisle of clothes, toys, and shoes, and lets not forget the brain to heart to biological clock battle that wages war on a regular basis. Did I forget to mention people who look at you oddly (ranging from young children to great grandparents) when you respond "No" to the question, "Do you have kids?" and then they really aren't sure how to proceed so it can look like anything from "how's the weather" to "but why, you ARE a teacher?"
This, my dear readers, is the true definition of inundation, and if you are not a childless 30 something female, you may not understand; this is not a war on any one thing in particular but just the constant bombardment that is only a bombardment because we, as a society, have allowed it to be. I love the pictures that my friends and family share, and I love being able to partake in all of these moments, but know that for many of us who are in this position, it may not be a simple answer, choice, or even something that we want to talk about. Sometimes if we seem a little "zoned out" as those around us go on about their families, know we may not be being "stuck up" or a bitch, it may be that there is a lot more to our story that you don't see or maybe we really don't like kids, but isn't that our life choice to make?
Society, please stop assuming that because women are in their thirties that we need baby formula reminders that we haven't yet had kids, and  we do not live in a fish bowl so please stop looking at us like we have lost our minds when the kids question answer is "No" - You have not had to walk in our shoes, you do not know our stories, and just because it seems weird, it isn't.
On that note, I would still like to partake in all the awesome babiness/familiness that my friends and families allow; just please stop sending me baby formula and Gerber Grow Up Plans!
Sincerely,
Overly Inundated and Completely Over It

A bit of self loathing sponsored by the awful media monger of beauty equaling self worth

Upon beginning to write this I used Google for an exact definition of limbo: an uncertain period of awaiting a decision or resolution; an intermediate state or condition. 

I was not disappointed because it is what the overall theme was, but then I realized I was disappointed because they did not mention the most important limbo which tests your flexibility and perhaps state of drunkenness as an adult! In this moment, it was reaffirmed that I am generally a glass half full type of girl. 

However, right now, I feel like I am in a perpetual state of limbo (the type without the catchy music) with an emphasis on the present and not the future which for some reason unbeknownst to me is bothering me more that usual. 

Is this what women in their 30's do, is this what "the clock" feels like? I feel like I need a definitive plan for everything; from short term vacations to my body to how I feel about myself to distant thoughts of "carved in stone" baby plans (or lack thereof) to long term goals to aging parents to.... You get the point. I feel like my mind is racing at a pace that I cannot possibly keep up with. I really don't think men "get it" in regards to how many things are floating around in a women's head at once, which I do not fault them for since I will willingly admit that women are just as guilty for not understanding how all men's brains work. 

At this point, my thoughts are a balmy day in February with the Daytona 500 taking place in my head and the leader keeps changing, "From the back of the pack comes aging parents, but wait the third poll position siblings has taken the lead. Following closely behind is a bit of self loathing sponsored by the awful media monger of beauty equaling self worth. Oh, hell, Charlie did you see that shift from the inside of turn 2, babies now holds on to the lead, but it better be careful because right on that tail is long term plans with the ever present to do list constantly looking to overtake on the outside." It is truly maddening and almost impossible to keep up with; this has to be the reason that women talk more, drink more wine, and are more exhausted then men. 

I am doing my very best to keep up with them all, but it's getting very difficult to deal with; I really need to find a place to fit some yoga in. I also think it is time to reconfigure some ways to balance since many of these things in my head seem to be ever present. So, if you have great suggestions for how you balance your life, please feel free to share because I want to make sure I am always a more often than not glass half full kinda girl. 

The road to hell is paved with good intentions.

2014 is here and as with every year that came before and with every year that will come after people are working are to fulfill their resolutions by starting strong; and to those people, I wish you the very best and remind you that it takes 21 repetitions before something becomes habit.
I have decided that resolutions are pointless because if I am being honest they are meaningless words on a page backed by the best intentions, and we all know what is said about the best intentions. In this year, I am going to strive to continually improve myself in the ways that I need.
So, here is my list that I do not have timelines on and know that there will be setbacks, switchbacks, and curve balls that I will have to allot for: show my husband that I love him, take more risks, tackle this infertility nightmare, prepare for traveling this year, spend quality time with family and friends, depend less on technology, give back more, enjoy myself, and take more time for myself.
No matter how you are beginning your new year remember that you new year isn't about societal pressures and norms, it is about you. Do what makes sense for you! If you know realistically losing 60 pounds for spring break is unreasonable, don't make that your goal. If you know that you can't workout the recommended 30 minutes daily because you struggle with an "internal" disease, don't make that your goal. If you know that being single is working for you, don't make finding a "mate" priority.
I wish you all a 2014 that makes sense for you and brings you the things you need, and whether you are on a resolution track or an improvement track, I wish you the very best.